Despair orJoy - Life or Death

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between happiness and joy? I have pondered the question for many years. It seems to me that happiness is about doing what I want, getting what I want, having what I want. I am at the center. Happiness is all about me. Now don't misunderstand me. On the surface level there is nothing wrong with being happy. In fact, we have a solemn duty to those around us, as Dennis Prager is wont to say, to be as happy as we can.

For me however, I have found that joy goes deeper. Joy comes when I discover God working in the world. Often I find it in little things. I just saw this bird today and it brought me joy. I felt the joy, just as I can feel happiness, but the joy came from a deeper place. The joy came in being so amazed at the beauty of God's creation. Genesis tells us that he created much of what we see for us - that we might experience joy in it - and then come to know Him more and more.

Joy can come in the midst of very hard times. Joy can overwhelm us and bring us peace when there is no logic way we should be feeling peace. Joy defies man's logic. Joy is a gift from God in which I believe He shares a bit of His joy with us.

Many believe that we have come to a tipping point in our society. It seems we have lost our way. We are calling good evil and evil good. It is time for us to stand with God and judge evil as evil and good as good.

I cannot watch as people pick through a petri dish of baby parts and discuss the monetary gain that can come from selling them without feeling apalled. How can a person look at the tiny feet and hands in that dish, the tiny brain and see the joy that God had created in that baby. The child was murdered.It was torn apart in the womb that God created to protect the baby from harm. Yet many seem to want to walk away from the idea - the appalling idea of choosing death rather than life.

We see Christians beheaded, burned alive in cages, women and young girls being sold as sexual slaves and we turn away. Is it because we are overwhelmed by the horror. Or is it simply a question of not wanting our own happy bubble burst by the reality of evil rampant in the world?

Many who will read this will agree with me when I say it is time to stand and to call evil for what it is. It is time to stand for life. I believe we are standing on the edge of a cliff. The words of Joshus ring in my head - "15 “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, 16 in that I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. 17 But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, 18 I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20 that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them. " (Deutoronomy 30:15-20)

Soe who read this will stop being my friends. I know that. It will nto be the first time. Nor is it likely to be the last. But if I personally am going to plan for joy, I must choose life and a life with God as my light and guide. Will you stand with me and choose joy and life also?

My joyfilled planner

I have been using a planner as a prayer journal and a place to write about what the Word of God teaches me for quite some time. It reminds me to be intentional about looking for joy in my life on a daily basis. That joy comes first through a relationship with God. Once that relationship is in order, then it is easy to see the hand of God all around me - in His creation and in His influence in the events that happen in my life.

Today our world is so often filled with evil, sadness and corruption that we can grow afraid. When we stand on His Word and strive to be more and more like Him in the small, daily things in our life, then the fear lifts and a sense of peace can ensue even when things in the world are less than peaceful.

It is God who created us and who offers us salvation and grace. It is ours to accept and walk day by day.

I have found great joy in Him as I worked to create images that might grace a joy filled planner. I pray that this endeavor may bring a spot of joy into your life also. You are invited to come and see the planner inserts I have been working on for the last several months and to share with me in making the search for joy in God's world an intentional part of your life. Come and visit my Etsy shop - Planning4joy!

I would be most blessed if you would share it with your friends! Thank you.
Here is my planner for you to see.

What do you do when life hands you really difficult moments? Where do you look for joy? Sometimes it is easy to think that it is not possible to be joyful when times are hard.

But if we are planning on moments of joy being part of our lives, then we will find the joy. Sometimes it may only be a moment of joy and at other times there may be many such moments.

I recently had several difficult things happen and they coincided with a trip to visit my granddaughters who live south of me. My planner includes a page that intentionally asks me to plan a moment of joy. One particular day I was not sure what exactly that moment would be or if I would be able to find one.

I made a trip to see my eldest granddaughter in her new apartment space near Xavier University. I took my youngest graddaughter along with me on the visit. Since it was nearing the lunch hour, I offered to take them all to lunch. That was not going to happen however. Instead the colege student announced that she was taking us to lunch. The first time she could do this.

We drove down the street to a small restaurant near the campus. We ate, we laughed, we had a wonderful time. After we had ordered, the youngest asked if I had a quarter. We all shared a moment of joy as she explained that she wanted to put it into the juke box at our table. Her sister explained that it no longer worked but shared how it would have worked in a different time. That time was my time. We all laughed as we looked at the music shown on the juke box and tried to figure out how anyone could hear abything when all the jukeboxes were playing different songs.

It was a special time of joy and laughter. The difficult things that lay ahead of me did not diminish the  joy one bit.

In fact, having had that wonderful time to share a meal and to laugh together made the difficult things so much easier.

Write out your plan for joy. Take a moment for joy and for gratitude every day. You will feel burdens life and be encouraged to live the next days planning4joy!

When fear and frustration, anger and grief fill our minds it becomes hard for our eyes to perceive the many moments of joy God sends our way rach and every day. When we set our intention to be aware and seek the moments of joy then gradually all the negatives begin to fade.

I have had a difficult time over the last week or so - difficult enough that I simply could not sit here at my computer and write. Worry took a toll on me. Until the day my granddaughter Maddy came to spend the day. She wanted to create something special to set her room apart. She wanted to make the space she had her own.

We talked about what her vision was. She knows me well enough to know that I will honor her ideas and not impose my own. Our agreement is that when she makes art, it is hers alone. I tell her my thought only if there is something she wants to do that I know will not work. For instance, if she wants to paint watercolor on top of glossy acrylics, I will let her try but also tell her why it might not work. I want her to feel confident and to know that she is learning as we all must do when we try new things.

We managed to get one of her projects done and another is in the works. I found a moment of great joy when I quietly watched her working. She was taking such care as she decorated some words to hang on her wall. She was quiet, as was I. And I saw a small smile play on her lips as she worked. My cares slipped away for that moment and I felt the joy.

Often in our culture we work very hard at manufacturing happiness. We are told that things will make us happy. Sometimes when we seek happiness, we seek the big thrill, the excitement of possession or striving. Happiness is a good thing but it can be shallow and fleeting.

Joy I have found tends to sneak up on me. It tip toes into my heart and often no one else knows. It stirs my heart and puts a smile on my face. And more often than not, it sneaks up when I give to others in a quiet way.

Seek joy, give it permission to enter your heart. We will always have cares. Life is often not exactly as we wish it to be. But when your heart and mind are open to joy, God surely will send it your way.

What does a trash can have to do with joy?

Every artist's studio has some place to put scraps and trash.  On a trip to my local hardware store I found the perfect place for my trash - a mini version of a garbage can! I love it. It made me smile the moment I saw it. Joy! It is so much fun to have in my art space.

The trash can has been a part of my professional voice for many years. I saw so many people who had experienced deep pain, hurt, embarrassment and even abuse who had defined themselves by that pain inflicted on them by others. 

That pain lived in their hearts and minds. Often it ruled everything in their lives. The loveliness and strength, the gifts and talents of these people were often hidden by the scars of past pain. I have been there. You may have been there too.

For a time pain and hurt serves as a helpful reminder to a person of the dangers that often exist in the world of relationships. What once served a good purpose grows until it becomes the cause of pain itself. Enter the trash can. 

In therapy, in coaching and yes, even in your daily planner, the trash can becomes a way to intentionally choose to discard pain so that joy may take its place. For many years I have encouraged my clients to thank the pain for serving to help keep them safe. Then choose to discard the pain and choose to replace it with a new joy.

In the Midori style inserts I have created for my planner, a small sketch of a trash can is always there in the weekly sections. On it I write the negatives that I am choosing to discard that day or week. Then I write the plan I have to look for joy to replace that old pain.

What needs to be intentionally discarded in your week? How will you plan 4 joy? 

Not a Chiropractor

I had a wonderful phone call this week that brought a 'laugh out loud' moment into my day. Laughing - that really full body laugh - is a great source of joy. Let me share this crazy moment.

I spent nearly 20 years as a private practice counselor licensed to practice in Ohio. I closed my practice at the end of 2013. Now I spend my time doing some private life coaching and enjoying the creative part of my life.

The call came from a past client who had been trying to locate me and was excited to find me on the Internet. When she called I could hear hesitancy in her voice. The hesitancy was generated by the Internet. After chatting for a while, she told me how she found me. Google gave her several listings for me. The site she found had gotten two things correct - my name and my phone number. Everything else was wrong. Hilariously wrong.

I decided that I would do the same search she had done. Oh my! I am listed as a chiropractor. No, I don't think so. I really like my chiropractor (http://www.myclevelandchiropractor.com). Dr. Nicholas Cambouris is wonderful. But I have never had a desire to do what he does.

I am also listed as running a business management firm. Oh no! That would be a really bad idea. I enjoyed having my own counseling business but managing businesses for other people - not so much!

I laughed out loud as I read my business descriptions on the Internet. Most were so very wrong. I had a choice to make as I read. I could be annoyed that so much was published erroneously or I could take the moment of joy that a good laugh gave me. Who knows, maybe an Internet search for your name might give you a moment of unexpected laughter!

Enjoy a good laugh when you can. It can bring a moment of joy into your day.

A Joy Filled Mess!

June 27, 2015

How does a person plan for joy in life? First, make looking for and finding joy an intentional act everyday. Second, be open to surprises. Third, share the joy with another.

It was a joy to have one of my granddaughters with me this past weekend to have a little creative time. She made a Father’s Day card for her Dad. She finished a canvas that she had started last year! And she made a messy apron to be her art apron. It is a work in progress. She can add things to it whenever she would like.

We decided that using spray dyes would be a great way to go. Where could we get messy with prays in a third floor condo with no good outside space for creating?

We found the ideal place! The bathtub! It could contain the spray. It was easy to clean. And, best of all, there was a delighted smile on her face as she enjoyed her permission to get messy!

It was a moment of joy to see her smile as she created an intentionally messy apron to use when she creates. Who cares if it gets paint on it? It is already intentionally messy!

Look for opportunities to find joy wherever you are. The possibilities are amazing!

Journey to Joy

June 23, 2015

Do you have a planner? Do you love it? When you see it, does your heart give a little sigh of joy? Or does your planner nag at you?

Planners have changed so much over the years. In the beginning, as I recall, no one had planners. You knew pretty much what each day held. Everyone knew. There was work or school, there was family, there was church or synagogue. And there was laughter and joy! Life was simple and good.

Somewhere along the way it was decided that a way to plan would make life better. Places like the local drug store or the hair salon gave out little date books as an early Christmas gift - and a reminder to bring your business their way.

Notebook planners became the thing next. This gave a person a way to track every moment of the day and week so that no time was lost. These were often dated so that you needed to replace it each year and manufacturers started to understand what their customers needed and wanted. Planners for school years came in. Finally you could get the planner ring bound so you could replace the years pages as time went by.

The digital age hit and then there were palm pilots and digital planners of various sorts. Today an app for your smart phone can help you do the planning.

I believe somewhere along the way something had been lost. The planner now can be a tool that so controls our lives that the joy of living the life we have may be lost.

This blog is about finding the joy again. As a life coach and retired clinical counselor, and yes, as someone who creates planners and planner inserts, I want to speak to the wonder of finding the joy again.

I invite you to come along on the journey with me as I seek to live a life filled with joy. Join me as I share with you some tips to help you live your life planning4joy. Welcome!